I am a bit sick and tired of Lovepanky and HerFeed telling me all the time that I deserve better as a heterosexual woman.
That seems to be everything that has captured the imagination of women on the internet, how to move on from a broken heart and how to be excellent in a new relationship.
And be a G.I.R.L. B.O.S.S. on the side.
Women over the last 100 years have been fighting tooth and nail to beat the sexist rhetoric of authority, consent, choice and domination to the ground. Yet, all I see is angry idiots attacking everything that upsets them like their life depends on it.
If one man calling you ugly affects your self-esteem so bad, please learn your lesson, buck up and move on.
Don’t do the following two things:
1. Don’t share the status to send a ‘silent message’ out to your haters. People who never gave a damn aren’t going to read your status and realise their mistakes.
2. DO NOT JUDGE EVERY MAN ON EARTH TO BE THE SAME KIND.
I have had my own fair share of heartbreaks, and yes if you tell me that all men are pigs I will agree with you. But not seriously, no. Every broken relationship has a context and regardless of how pathetic your ex-partner has been to you, it doesn’t apply to everyone who has ever stepped on earth.
It is not possible for me to agree that every man is biologically programmed to be idiots.
The other thing that really irks me about these feminist websites is the sense of entitlement that their rhetoric carries. A classic example is this: Never chase a man. If a man likes you, he will make a case for himself. There will be a man who will treat you the way to deserve to be treated and there will be a knight-in-shining-armour who will agree to kiss the ground you walk on.
Are you kidding me?
Yes, that is the kind of entitlement that is seen natural. It is sexist and completely baseless. It is not un-womanly to ‘chase’ a man you like. If a woman can chase her dreams, she can be allowed to chase the love-interest-of- her- dreams as well.
A man likes to know that he is attractive for someone as well. He is only human.
And most importantly, IF THE GUY REALLY LIKES YOU HE WILL NEVER THINK THAT YOU ARE DESPERATE.
Unless you are a whiny sissy idiot who stalks him to get his attention.
Playing the devil’s advocate allow me to illustrate through the example of Taylor Swift: a classic favourite of privileged women. A classic go-getter, it is amazing how she has built a career out of dissing ex-lovers.
Don’t expect me to believe that every-one-of-them screwed up.
That thing she had with Tom Hiddleston. She was everywhere after him. And once, she had shown the world enough that she was done moving on from Calvin Harris, the Hiddleswift story disappeared in a puff of smoke.
The constant rhetoric that some guy did wrong by her is poisonous; we should be teaching women about consent and abuse, not blame. Her latest #1 track croons, “Look what you made me do,” are you serious?
How can you seriously blame anyone (very clearly Kanye West here) when you are only looking for a free pass to rebrand yourself and your music?
Do you want to be a bad girl? Then be one without having to claim that someone has killed all the kindness in you.
And that’s the common rhetoric these websites and blogs operate on, or if I may, at least operated on until recently: the heterosexual man is responsible for everything that ever happens in a romantic relationship. Buy flowers, pay for dinner, want to get married as soon as the woman feels ready, buy a house, blah blah.
A lot of women will be nodding their head disapprovingly at this because a man insists on doing it, why stop him?
Sure. Don’t stop him.
Just know for a fact that he is not supposed to operate solely based on your expectations.
No human being is. You yourself don’t.
So please give up on all that bullcrap relationship advice that these websites shove in your faces and think for yourself. At the end of the day, you deserve the love, attention, and respect from a person that you are willing to give to another one.