By Mayank Dixit
“No family is perfect….we argue, we fight. But in the end, the family is all we have. The love remains the same”.
This is the golden principle our Indian culture has been swearing by, generation after generation. And this principle is true also, on many grounds. The family is all the support and love we need and they are always on our side. Or are they?
Let’s find out.
Q1. Are you able to talk about anything to your family and don’t need to hide things?
Answer- Absolutely. My parents are so respecting of my individual identity that they don’t get paranoid at all if it seems that I have a different opinion than theirs on something. And none of my problems get shoved away as “silly teenage issues”.
Q2. Are you free to do anything you like such as pursue any hobbies or a career you like?
Answer- Is it important that I want to pursue something the parents are not in sync with? They gave us birth, after all, it’s important that they get to live all their dreams and aspirations through us.
Q3. You consider your family to be the only support you have?
Answer- Yes. I consider them to be the best support in terms of continuous taunts about my lifestyle choices and how should I look up to them in terms of simple living and high thinking.
This is only a small glimpse of what you and I have to suffer daily due to a breathing, living dysfunctional family. It is not only about taunts and scolding, it’s about how constantly enduring sneer remarks from your loved ones can affect you at a psychological level.
Such children that are witness to constants fights between parents may develop some inferiority complex and find it difficult to be able to maintain healthy relations in their life.
The biggest problem we all have is that of addressing the elephant in the room.
That yes, dysfunctional families do exist. Families fight. All is not hunky dory every time. That yes there are times when children don’t open to their parents or parents shove their own choices down the throat of their child.
All in all, this is like a never-ending cycle. The deeper we go, the more mess we encounter. It depends upon us now, how we encounter this mess. The change would begin with us.
Not all is lost though. All dysfunctional families can heal. They just need to get in touch with their core values from time to time. To recognise that yes they do love each other but at the same time the boundaries of each individual are to be accepted.
Their space needs to be respected. Their choices, need to be honored. It will not always be easy, but even if few family members can do this and come along for the ride, then it will not take much time to increase the functionality of the dysfunctional family.
Image Credits: Google Images
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