The phrase “sexual abuse of men” seems to be an oxymoron. Somehow the preposition of connecting sexual abuse with men seems unnatural, foreign as we’re more comfortable with the phrase “sexual abuse by men.”
Guess it’s time for a reality check…
– More than 98% of Indian husbands face domestic violence at least once from their wife on an average 3 Years of Marriage in terms of economical abuse, mental harassment, relationship cheating. More than 22,000 Indian men have ended their life in reverse dowry harassment by their wives.
– In the 22,000 cases only 6 cases had been registered and not a single woman has been questioned as to why their husbands ended their life, let alone any punishment.
– More than two-thirds of married men in India between the ages of 15 and 49 are victims of forced sex by their girlfriends and in more than 78% cases the men had been booked under rape cases, as they refused to marry their girlfriends.
– Sexual abuse of men is increasing with a Growth rate of 42% in last 5 years, whereas the media and government have never even bothered to disclose the same in front of public.
Probably none of you know of these cases of sexual abuse of men
1. Cab driver Ramesh was accused of rape by one of his passengers. She accused him of forced oral sex, and sexual intercourse. It was only six months, and hours of investigations later that Ramesh was officially NOT a rapist.
Medical as well as forensic evidence established that there was no rape committed upon the woman, and it was all because the woman refused to give the man his fare of Rs. 500.
2. Harassed with imprisonment and visits to courts during the nine-year legal battle, an insurance agent studied law to fight rape charges levelled by his wife.
Acquitted by courts, practicing advocate Pankaj Chavda, 37, later slapped a Rs 50 lakh defamation suit against his wife for implicating him and a friend in a false rape case.
3. Thirty-three-year-old Santosh Raj’s world came crashing down when three months into his marriage, his wife hired goons, who not only attacked him but also beat up his parents, brothers, and sister.
As told to TOI, “My wife accused me of impotency and demanded money. She demanded 1 crore for a divorce. My father somehow brought this amount down to 35 lakh. As per the arrangement, 15 lakh was paid and the remaining amount was to be paid after the divorce was finalized. I knew that they wouldn’t stop harassing me if I gave them 20 lakh, so I went underground for some time.”
4. Couple of first-hand experiences reported by TOI back in 2012 which goes:
“I started working as a trainee accountant with my firm in 2008 and through the years, I’ve managed to gain the respect of my colleagues and my seniors. Sheena (name changed) joined my firm in 2009 and from the beginning, everyone knew she was the flirtatious type. It seemed like I had become her target in office, and it was very embarrassing. Once, she spread her legs in front of me and I could see that she was wearing a thong. This happened in my cubicle, and as much as I would like to believe it, it wasn’t a mistake. She sat like that for a long time, and kept flirting with me. She would make excuses to take coffee breaks right when I’d have to step out for a smoke. All of this was fine, up until one day she grabbed my butt. I was speechless. She was fishing for compliments and I told her she was hot, so she replied by saying I was pretty hot myself, and grabbed me from behind. Being brought up in a household that respects women, I didn’t react. I am just looking to out her in front of my other colleagues one day.”
There is NO legislation against such things in India
As Section 375 of the Indian Penal Code stands, rape is something that only a man can do to a woman. There is no room for adult male victims, much less female perpetrators.
Although child survivors of both sexes are covered by the Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act 2012, current rape laws leave out a large swathe of male victims.
Homosexual or transgenders are probably affected worst. There is often a notion of ‘corrective rape’ directed at them whereby they are forced to have sex with female members, often under the supervision of other family members.
Add to this the demeaning social construct wherein it is thought to be ‘unmanly’ for a man to refuse sexual advances made by a woman.
Fortunately, the scenario is changing globally. In India too, there is a helpline for men framed in false cases.
Indian laws should recognise the plight of sexually (or otherwise) abused men. Currently, there are various support groups for male victims of abuse.
While it is absolutely important to guarantee the safety of women in India, let us not forget this other side of the story.
If it really is equality that we strive for, we should realize that it can be achieved with equal opportunities given to both sexes under all circumstances.
Image credits: Google
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