Public transportation is the lifeline of any Metropolitan.
Here’s a crash course in common situations we find ourselves stuck in, the kind of people we get stuck with and a few basic etiquettes to follow while using public transportation:
1. Scoot Over:
Peeps, if you’ve occupied a seat for a while now, we know you’ve literally worked your ass off to make the seat’s temperature ambient enough for your behind. But if some tired soul needs a seat, scoot over wearing an understanding smile.
2. Death Stare:
No, I don’t know who you are and chances are that will never see you again after this journey, but please allow me to make the ride uncomfortable for you by staring at you like a hawk.
Best way to counter such people ? Stare right back. Or better “Shit, you’ve recognized me ? Please don’t inform the media. I’m incognito.”
3. I’m Gonna Win This Marathon to The Seat:
Yes, you might be the best runner since P.T. Usha (don’t go WHO?!). We’ll believe you if you say so. But please don’t push us around to acclaim your seat.
This ain’t no Game Of Thrones yo. TRY to be civil, let the passengers alight first and then board the conveyance one at a time. Karke dekho, acha lagega.
4. Snoopy Aunty:
Will try to talk to you about politics, the current price of brinjal, and the pattern on the sweater she’s been meaning to knit. And God forbid, if you try to hide behind your phone, she’d strain her neck at angles you didn’t think were possible to get a peek into your phone.
5. Being a Nursery Kid:
If you think saving your friend a seat by blocking it with your bag, or worse, hands is still sweet, let me burst your bubble, it is not, especially at the cost of causing inconvenience to others. First come, first serve.
The other person might need it more and may have to cover more distance than you. Be considerate.
6. The Self Styled DJ:
No one is interested in listening to your entire music collection on shuffle. It’s great that you have all the latest item songs on your louder-than-Dolly-Bindra Chinese phone but please don’t force your music taste (or lack thereof) on the rest of the carriage.
Also, as a rule of thumb, only have your headphone volume on 75 per cent maximum volume. Save your ears and the person sitting next to you. They might want to read a book or just relax for a while during the long tiring journey.
7. Be the Master of Coins:
If you use public transport like us humble folks, you’d know the struggle of fishing for change because according to the sarkaar, billing the traveller for a round figure means going easy on them.
Don’t you feel annoyed when a co-passenger makes everyone else wait by not presenting the exact amount for the ticket ? Don’t be that person. Be prompt with your fare and make it a point to carry some chillars and change roughly amounting to 100 bucks in your wallet. They come in handy more often than you’d think.
8. The Loudspeaker:
His conversation is important okay ? And he’ll let you know that by repeating himself persistently with a loud dramatic flare.
The decibel level of his voice is directly proportional to n, where n is the no of times he has already made the statement. And don’t you dare come in the middle of his show parade.
ARRE, I SAID DON’T MEDDLE WITH HIM, HE RELIES ON ELABORATE HAND GESTURES !
9. The Menace Creator:
Usually a kid, 3-8 years old. When he’s not giving his parents a hard time, he is hyperactive, doing everything from scratching windows, destroying seats, and even peeling off information and directional stickers with his restless little hands.
And then after all that, sneezing/coughing/picking his nose and wiping it off the seats.
Parents, please make the public transmit experience an educational one for your kids. And janta, when you see anyone travelling with a child, offer up your seats. Karma may bless you with less shaitan little monsters.
10. Serious Advice: Keep to Yourself:
Don’t invade anyone’s personal space. Do not offer advice if you’re eavesdropping. Do not give anyone wrong directions if you’re unsure.
Make it a habit to sticking to your right while walking, and don’t obstruct the common path with your belongings. Be kind and polite, others will automatically reciprocate.
Hope this list saves you some cringe-worthy commutes and that you’d be more considerate of fellow commuters, for it creates a better experience for everyone.
Feel free to share your worst ride experiences and the hat-ke people you come across on such rides.
Go on, give us a good laugh.
And for all your future travels, Shubh Yaatra!
By Navni Bhatia