Fake Friendly Fridays is a section where we invite the current entertainment source of the country for a no-holds-barred interview with ED Times. We make sure they remember this interview, even though they never gave it as this is purely an imaginative piece (Oh, how we wish this wasn’t!).
IF IT STILL ISN’T CLEAR TO YOU, LET ME SAY IT EXPLICITLY : THIS IS A FAKE INTERVIEW AND IS INTENDED IN GOOD HUMOR. ENJOY!
So, without further ado. Introducing tonight’s guest, he’s none other than the Desi Rap God of India, the one, the only, Baba Sehgal!
ED Times : “So, Baba. Tell us what inspired you to become a rapper?”
Baba Sehgal : “Well, I was always one of those kids who had plenty of self inspiration. And ever since I saw that little league small time rappers such as Eminem and Jay-Z weren’t making good music, I had to step in to teach the kids how daddy does it!”
Junk food khaaney se ho jaati hai dysentery, ain’t no better rapper than me in this country!
ED Times : “Mr. Sehgal, what sort of fine quality stuff do you smoke while making your songs?”
Baba Sehgal : “Sahib, you’re the 25th person to ask me that but I don’t smoke kush, I swear to God! If you’ve heard my mega hit song called “Water Is H2O”, you’ll realize how much I believe in keeping my body clean.”
*Tries to figure out the purpose of his existence after listening to “Water Is H2O”*
Baba Sehgal : “Arey yeh toh meri life sabsi badi mystery hai, school mein 10th grade tak padhi maine history hai.
Rainbow mein colors blue and violet aatey hain, mujhe mere titles toilet pe aatey hain!”
*By this time, I genuinely wanted to question the existence of God*
ED Times : “Whom would you rate as the top rappers in the country, right now?”
Baba Sehgal : “Junk food khaaney se ho jaati hai dysentery, ain’t no better rapper than me in this country!”
*SOMEBODY MAKE HIM STOP*
ED Times : “Ahan. Alright. So, do you believe your music is.. umm.. kinda quirky?”
Baba Sehgal : “Arey bhai toh kya hua! West mein Miley Cyrus hai, idhar main hu.”
ED Times : “Well, we appreciate your honesty. Tell us more about your inspiration for making songs.”
Baba Sehgal : “Personally speaking, I think that people believe that one should follow a single-minded approach and have locked in focus to make good songs but then again, that’s only for mortals.
I follow a zero minded approach in my songs. Just look at the lyrics!”
ED Times : “As a celebrity, how do you deal with super-stardom?”
Baba Sehgal : “I just chill and have Rajma Chawal, if you know what I mean.” *points finger guns*
*SOMEBODY MAKE THIS STOP*
ED Times : “What do you feel about the mainstream rap music scene in our country?”
Baba Sehgal : “Very good question. I believe the scene has diluted down in terms of artistic quality and the burden falls to people like who have to be harbingers of a misunderstood music genre.”
ED Times : “Sir, kyu jhooth bol re ho?”
Baba Sehgal : “Excuse me?”
ED Times : “Oh, nothing! I guess it’s time to wrap up this tortu.. interview! Thank you so much for joining us, sir! It has been surreal, to say the least!”
Baba Sehgal : “Oh, no worries my friend! Parliament mein BJP ka daaba hai and rap music ka king sirf Baba hai!”
*SEVERE HEADACHE WAS REPORTED BY THE INTERVIEWER AFTER THIS SESSION. DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME.*