By Sanchari Pal
Two words which paint a dreary, boring picture. To any random person, the idea of a med school is restricted to books, books and more books. Well, books are a part of course, but it’s time we busted some age old med school myths, some of which are riotously hilarious.
1. All medical students are nerds.
Oh please! This is probably the oldest myth. We have our share of delicious Benedict Cumberbatchs and ravishing Emma Stones here. And they’re more appealing than the average hunk or chick, because they come with scalpel sharp brains. So, the next time you see a hot bod, keep doctor in mind.
2. Medical students are very disciplined and live a life of strict routine.
This one is so untrue though our professors would like it to be true. A medical student is the farthest thing from being disciplined. We have extremely unruly students in class who will never complete the assignments on time.
More than half of the class doesn’t even turn up for the 8 am lecture! And yes, we have students who sleep, snore and forger to respond to their roll numbers. Poor guys, they never seem to have enough attendance.
3. You’re doing MBBS? Wow, you’re so rich!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This is probably the most ironical of myths surrounding med school. Believe me, a medical student is anything but rich. First of all, we start earning at TWENTY FOUR, an age by which many of our friends are happily married.
An average junior doctor’s salary varies between 10-17 grands in India whereas most of the young engineers earn something around 25-30 grand. So, it’s a constant struggle of barely making ends meet. The rich doctor that you see in your clinic have gotten there after years and years of hard work and significant sacrifices.
4. Every med school has ghosts.
Okay, this is hilarious. It’s a college, not a haunted movie set. Our colleges are just like yours with classrooms, benches, libraries, departments and lots of dead bodies but no ghosts. I personally feel ghosts are scared of med school themselves.
5. All of a junior doctor’s classes involve dissection of rotten dead bodies.
No. Nope. Nada. We have regular boring classes with presentations and graphs where most of us sleep just like any of yours. We have a lot of living patient oriented clinical classes too and dissection is largely limited to the studying of Anatomy in the first year.
6. They make you forget math in med school.
We know math okay? Like, seriously. We even have our share of math in med school! True, it’s not calculus but it’s still proper math. For example, calculating the drug dosage of a cancer patient. And no, we don’t go crazy adding two plus two.
7. There is no concept of a fest or carnival in med school.
Now, this is just insulting. Some of the medical college fests are real crowd pullers and we have national and even international big shots performing at our fests. Our fests are not about boring seminars. There are plenty of fun activities, even binge drinking and an atmosphere of crazy ecstasy!
8. Doctors will only ever date doctors.
So NOT true. Plenty of doctors date and marry people from other professions. We make excellent partners because, no matter whatever your problem might be, a doctor has always got a patient ear for them.
9. Doctors do not enjoy sex.
This weird idea probably stems from the fact that we know too much anatomy. Yes, we do know the details of a vagina and a penis long before others have even seen it but hey, we can compartmentalize! Just because we know it doesn’t mean we will be doing a PV on you instead of a pleasurably foreplay. We are very much susceptible to hormones and a doctor knows exactly what to press to bring out the correct sounds. *winks*
10. All doctors have crappy handwriting.
Okay. This myth may not be entirely untrue but there are doctors who have great handwriting too. Some doctors are really smart: they write their prescriptions in capital letters!
11. Doctors command a lot of respect.
The only myth which we wished was true. True, in days of yore, medicine used to be one of the most respected professions globally. The story is vastly different now. Ever since health services came under Consumer Affairs, the doctor-patient relationship has become that of a shopkeeper selling his goods.
It is not uncommon to think of doctors as money sharks and the not-so-subtle remarks make it very obvious. If you’re reading this, let’s hope you’ll be more considerate.