Abuse Is Not Love, Get Out Of That Relationship Right Away

Relationships are built on mutual infatuation and trust for each other. Our generation has grown up watching iconic movies and reading classic novels.

Unlike the previous generations, this generation’s sole purpose of a relationship is to have validation from someone and that someone is often their significant other!

Romance has shamelessly descended to obtaining validation in the name of modern relationships, which further drives the psyche of the two people in the equation with different personalities to abuse and exploit each other.

Surprisingly, a lot of men and women don’t even realize that abuse isn’t just physical but can be in the form of psychological and social abuse, as well.

Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional and even social!

Moreover, abuse in relationships isn’t even recognized in India. We’ve just started to accept that dating before marriage isn’t a big deal but the ordeals which go on in the underbelly of these modern millennial relationships is never talked about.

“In a blur of fear and panic, I looked at Benny [Medina] and my mother and blurted out the words: ‘I don’t think I can be with Marc anymore.’ Then I burst into tears. It was out. The thing I feared more than anything in the world. I collapsed into their arms and began to sob.”

This prologue above might seem like a movie dialogue while in reality it’s a heartfelt revelation by someone who’s probably a role model to many. It’s an excerpt by Jennifer Lopez which she gave out in a popular magazine.

Although, JLo didn’t directly talk about being abused by Marc in seven years of her marriage. She did give a hint when she went on to launch her “Dance Again” tour, on which she wanted to show the “truth about abusive relationships” soon after her divorce with Marc.

Zeenat Amaan, another iconic actress received physical as well as emotional abuse by her then alleged affair with Sanjay Khan. She was apparently beaten up and even verbally abused in public.

On top of it, she did not lodge any police complaint because she was still in love with Sanjay and was willing to forgive him. She tried her best to protect him saying that he did not bash her up even when her bruised face spoke otherwise.

Zeenat Aman’s lifelong scars, a result of physical abuse from a previous relationship.

Which brings me to the very fact how people go oblivious to abuse in a relationship. They go blind to such an extent that when it comes to abuse by their partner, nothing seems out of the ordinary to them and they are often forgiving and forgetful about it.

What’s important in such an abusive relationship is to firstly acknowledge that you’re into one. I came across this article on a website called “Love Matters”, in which they very simply detailed on how to identify an abusive relationship.

Once acknowledged, the affected person needs to address the issues ASAP and deduce the root cause of it and if the abuser is doing it on purpose or not.

Then, mutual discussion or psychiatric help should always be considered to prevent any further damage to the affected individual(s) and the victim should always look to be not just physically repulsive but psychologically aware so as to not enter a abusive relationship again.

The abuser should be further counselled for corrective behaviour and should be made aware of his tendencies, with further focus on how to put a full stop to his parasitic actions.

With the millennial generation now becoming more accepting towards changing trends in the society, it is important for them to figure out abusive situations without gender/sexuality bias, since males are equally affected in abusive relationships on various grounds, be it via blackmail, fear of rejection or being an outcast.

It is further imperative on the part of modern parents to educate their children on how to draw the line in the teenage years itself to keep their psyche in check to avoid any sort of emotional baggage in their future relationships.

“Love” is a word which is easily coined but often misinterpreted. So make sure you’re not Ana Steele from 50 Shades Of Grey and save yourselves from the “Chirstian Grey”s out there to live a happier life.

You’d also like to read: 10 Effects Of Choosing To Stay In An Abusive Relationship



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