I Suffer From Essential Tremors And Here’s What I Feel

By Sakshi Kanodia

Source: Google Images

All About Essential Tremors

Essential tremors are one of the most common disorders which anyone can be a victim of. It is a kind of nerve disorder which is characterised by out-of-control shaking of any of your body parts. Its causes differ from person to person and for its occurrence, neither age nor gender has a bar.

As a child, when one starts doing small activities, it remains merely unnoticeable if your hand shivers. It’s presumed that you either have picked up a new habit or are nervous. But, as and when you grow up and this feature doesn’t part, you realise that it has stuck to you, like, for lifetime.

Next Stage: Laughing At Other’s Misfortune

It eventually starts becoming more and more noticeable by everyone, and people use this as ammunition to laugh, starting from the very initial school days. Leaving apart the childhood days, people still do laugh. How much does it matter? Just as dogs bark and shut after a while, people will also laugh or joke about it once and then forget.

But, one will not understand this when they are a child. A lot of fun is made about it, and it starts becoming embarrassing and uneasy to face the world, outside the four walls of your home. This is the vital point of your life where it may make or break your confidence. But whatever it may be, you are left with no option, other than to ignore them and move on.

The WORST Part

By the time you are comfortable with the situation and the people around you accept it and treat you equally, comes the phase where you graduate from school, and you need to start afresh in your college and hostel life where there are new and expectedly more matured people surrounding you. You start thinking that they will be able to understand you now and you won’t have to go through the grilling process again.

But no, life can never be this rosy especially for an Indian girl of marriageable age with a slight defect in her physicality.

It is completely pathetic to find that the people here too are ‘brainless’ and without considering the situation of the other they just know how to make fun of them. In fact, these people are more grown-up and more matured and hence their jokes are even more deadly and venomous which can cut right through your skin because school life is full of childish jokes but no, the adult life is much more unforgiving.

But, as all the fingers of a hand are not equal, such are the people. You will find some ‘angels’ everywhere to support you, or to make you comfortable in some way or the other, by their small gestures.

Plenty Of Fear

Yes, I am one of them.

I fear facing people outside my ‘sweet home’ especially in public places.  I become self conscious. Particularly, when there are activities like serving food, applying nail paints which I avoid. I accept that you might be doing this in a better way than I do.

But mind it, this fear is not about what they will think of me as I am a girl, or that they will talk about me behind my back; it is because me and my family are made to think of it as a weakness, and that it’s a major problem. But, how does this one weakness of mine, make me lesser from my peers. I very well know other things, which I am an expert at.

At times this very thing scares me a lot. Yes, I am scared of the unknown and of what the future may hold in store for me because after all no matter how much I berate this society I have to ultimately survive in it.

You are not defined by your weaknesses, but how you tackle them; it’s my own battle, I know I am very much alone in this vindictive world.


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