“SCAM Alliances” To “Useless Union Budget” Everything Sarcastic That Was In News This Week

Just when you think that you are probably done with the world, news this week is going to be same old, same old, bam! Right in your face. the world blows up and you are left floundering to comprehend what exactly is going on right here? Are people out of their minds? And oh, very importantly, is Trump out of his mind?!

Anyways, with the state elections beating drums all over the country, we didn’t have to go extremely far to find about odd things that are happening around the country. What was so weird about the news this week? Let’s find out!

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The New Bahubali Trailer Starring Harish Rawat, Amit Shah and Narendra Modi is Out Now!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57znsSbQgJE

In India, if nothing else works, movies definitely do!! As the stage is set for the clash of the titans in the assembly elections for Uttarakhand, the people in support of Harish Rawat have decided to hail him true Tollywood style by photoshopping him into Baahubali, the projected savior of the state! If that was not enough, the likes of  Narendra Modi and Amit Shah join in!

I don’t know how much will Harish Rawat profit from the symbolism of devotion and strength in the upcoming elections but Modiji surely doesn’t look half as weird as his half dhoti. See it to believe it.

 

Goa Elections To Give Out Pink Teddies To Encourage First Time Women Voters To Poll. Is That because Pink is So… Whatever?

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Women only booths, women security personnel. Sounds about okay. But… Pink booths. Pink walls. Pink balloons. Because women are born with ‘Girls Love Pink’ patches pasted on their foreheads. Goa, you can definitely do better than this, sheesh!

 

BJP And Congress Share Election Love Over S.C.A.M. Jabs.

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If Narendra Modi’s S.C.A.M. acronym coinage (Samajwadi Congress Akhilesh Mayawati, in case you missed it) in the Meerut speech was not awkward enough to pump in more heat at the UP elections, the congress has decided to share a piece of their mind through some choice words.

Calling out the BJP government on their own post-demonetization uncertainties,  Congress spokesperson Tom Vadakkan reiterated a new version of the S.C.A.M. as ‘Satta bhogi, Kapti dhongi Amit Shah Modi’. Ooooh, slay!

Alas, only if all this oratory and wordplay actually did nothing about the real scams traumatizing us mango people.

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Ahead Of Elections, People In Punjab Get Free Drugs Delivered To Their Doorsteps. 

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“I love elections and wish we had them every month,” the 38-year-old said to news agency AFP. ” Normally we have to go out and find a dealer, but at election time it gets delivered to your home for free.”

It’s a chilling testimony to the despair Punjab is drowning in. You need no sarcasm when statistics claim that almost 70% of the youth of Punjab are afflicted by drugs.

 

Uday Chopra Likes To Make Trip Plans On Twitter

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It’s like one of those times when you cannot deal with the fact that your alleged ex might have allegedly moved on, so you have a difficult time dealing with how your alleged wishes may not allegedly come true.

Or maybe his iMessage is not working. Either way, social media is neither going to revive his career or his love life.

 

Mamta Bannerjee Hates The New Union Budget. Period.

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In yet another move to call out the Union Government, Mamta Didi has taken it upon herself to single-handedly tear down the whole Union budget on social media. Calling it simply ‘useless heartless and actionless’, she harkens the inadequacy of the Center to be sympathetic towards a nation still reeling with the demonetization hangover.   

Yikes. It’s tough to be on the wrong side of this lady.  

 

That’s it for news this week. Hungry for more? Come back the same place next week. Till then, with so much bizarre going on, I dare you to avoid the newspapers.


Read More:

Modiji’s “Smile More To Score More” And Everything Else Sarcastic That Was Said in News This Week

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