By Shubhani Syal
I recently read about what Swati Deshpande had to say about women’s dressing and their link to medical conditions like PCOS. That was a new theory, wasn’t it? So I decided why not list all the rules that a woman in India must follow in one place:
Say no to skirts (except for the lehengas and ghaghras, ofcourse)
My first lesson on dressing appropriately was in school. Since the skirts, that had been part of school uniforms since British times, were now inappropriate, obviously, we had to change to salwar kameez. Why? Well, some of the senior girls wore their skirts low waisted and they ended above the knee *gasp*. Then, the shape of the skirt meant that from the right angle you could look under it. Obviously, the skirt is the problem. We couldn’t make the skirts pencil fit to avoid that either, because it would show off your body shape *gasp again*. Indian skirts are okay though, they are long and flowy, right? And well, then there is the “Indian Culture is the best” argument. Slam dunk, right there.
Say no to crop tops (or sleeveless or backless, or anything less)
So the next golden rule, no crop tops. Your midriff is offending and indecent, didn’t you know? Oh, don’t forget your back, shoulders, cleavage and arms are offensive too. So no sleeveless, backless, deep necklines, strapless, off-shoulders either. Blouses and Cholis are okay, though. Can you guess, why? Yes, you are right, because “Indian Culture is the best”. *mic drop*
Say no to pants and shirts (or jeans or any “manly” clothing)
You must be thinking by now, shirts and pants should be okay, though, right? They don’t expose your knees or ankles or cleavage or arms or back, you get the picture. And they aren’t very form fitting, either? It should count as dressing appropriately. Right? Wrong. Swati Deshpande, Principal of Government Polytechnic College is here to tell us that dressing like men, i.e., shirts and pants send confusing signals to our body, repress our urge to reproduce and thus, cause PCOS. Her theory seems logical, doesn’t it? You have to blame the lifestyle of women for their medical conditions after all, however baseless it might be medically.
So how to dress appropriately?
At this point, it must be hard to understand what to wear, right? Well, it’s not that difficult. Ms. Deshpande already has a hint for you. Salwar Kameez, the new uniform for women she plans to implement in her college in place of the shirts and pants is key to dress appropriately. But beware, we have some rules here too.
- The kurta should not end above the knee.
- The kurta and salwar must be two sizes too big to not show off your body shape.
- Most importantly, never forget the chunni. Because, no chunni=no character.
So, that’s it, guys. It’s pretty easy and simple, isn’t it? Follow these rules and you will never face any issues, whether harassment, molestation, rape or even PCOD. I don’t know why we haven’t thought of this before. I mean, so many innocent men would have been saved from going to jail and so much money saved from medical bills.
Image Credits: Google Images
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