What To Expect When You’re Expecting – Royal Rumble 2017 Edition

I’m 23 and I follow World Wrestling Entertainment religiously. Yes, that may sound juvenile to most of you lot but, I grew up with Austin harassing McMahon, the Undertaker (No, not the one in International Khiladi) and Kane burying people in caskets and the Rock giving eyebrow-raising lessons to young kids like me so, damn you.


San Antonio, Texas will be the venue for the most exciting WWE event of the calendar year, the Royal Rumble. And for the first time in the years, the Rumble is well set to be truly unpredictable, with superstars like the Undertaker, Brock Lesnar and Goldberg in the mix. Not since the beginning of the Roman Empire (FU Reigns) has any event elicited such excitement. So, without further ado, here are my predictions for the Royal Rumble,

Goldberg and Lesnar cancel each other out

Yes, they’ll eliminate each other, big whoop! This one is pretty much given but, expect them to eliminate a lot, a lot of people between them. I have never been a Goldberg fan, largely because the man is incapable of wrestling a proper match over five minutes (Although the Spear is pretty badass) but, I have adored Lesnar and I really want him to end up with the higher hand at the end of the night, considering his shock squash match at Survivor Series.

Heading into WrestleMania for part III of their testosterone fueled feud, I’d appreciate it if we could finally watch a match worth paying for (Or rather, staying up into the night for).

WWE feints and goes against convention

Bookmaker odds and WWE convention and thinking suggests nothing out of the extraordinary for either of the World titles at the Rumble. In fact, it is almost given that both Reigns and Cena are set to capture World titles at the Rumble.

Don’t. Don’t pull the trigger, WWE.


However big a dog Reigns may be, the guy is shit on the mic and is largely hated by the WWE universe (Although his inadequacies in the ring are exaggerated). On the other hand, Kevin Owens, heel as he may be, is one of the best talkers and workers in the industry and deserves to hold on to that title until WrestleMania (Even though his reign could have been booked better).

As far as the real World title is concerned yes, I get it that Cena (Who despite his oh-so character remains a very good wrestler in the ring) equaling Flair’s record would be illustrious but, do it at WrestleMania. Please. Better yet, have him lose and turn him heel. AJ Styles is the best wrestler in the Company today and deserves to carry the title until April.

I don’t think any of this will happen but please, please WWE, go against convention and do what is necessary.

A Rumble full of shocking returns and debuts

The Royal Rumble is the prime opportunity for returning wrestler and huge debutants to make a mark and blow the roof off the WWE universe. After all, who can forget the reception Styles got last year, or the one Cena got way back in 2008. With eight spots still left to be filled, it’s anyone’s guess who they might be. Sure, there might be the regular low-brow entries like R-Truth and Goldust and James Ellsworth but, who will have the biggest pop of them all?

Samoa Joe. Former NXT Champion and AJ Styles’ former foe in TNA. His debut in the Rumble is a given and I’d love to see him raise hell and head into April with a great feud on his back.


Finn Balor. The champion who came back to regain what he never lost, the Universal title. Won’t that be a story to tell. And a Kevin Owens – Balor feud? Incredible. Also, why not Balor v The Undertaker, the battle of long, spooky entrances.

Okay, I know this is wishful thinking but, Kurt Angle. One of my personal favorites, sure the Rumble will pop crazy if he returns to the ring. And if he does, won’t that be a Rumble moment to savor. Maybe end his career with one final match in the ring. Angle v Cena? Angle v Styles? Angle v The Undertaker (Watch their lesser known match from No Way Out. It’s worth every minute)?

And the winner is…….?

This is a tricky question to answer. The Undertaker, Goldberg, Lesnar, Strowman etc. are heavy favourites going in but, the Royal Rumble won’t be without curveballs such as the Miz, Corbin, Wyatt, Ziggler, Ambrose and Zayn. Then there is the added possibility of the losers from the title matches to make an appearance in here as well. The Rumble is going to be very exciting.


That is, if they get the winner right. In my opinion, none of the heavy favourites need (Undertaker) or deserve (Strowman) to win, whereas Lesnar and Goldberg will cancel each other out. Who will take the crown and the road to WrestleMania then?

I know this is cheating but, I have my money on two people, Finn Balor and Chris Jericho.

I have already detailed why I am banking on a Balor win above so, why Chris Jericho? Because there is no better way to rupture Jeri-KO than with a Y2J win at the Royal Rumble (That is, if as I want to believe, Owens retains). Their friendship has been building since Summerslam and this is a great opportunity for WWE to achieve what it did with Savage and Hogan and the implosion of the Mega powers.

A few random predictions,

Iron Man: The Miz

Entry No. 1 & 2: Sami Zayn and Dolph Ziggler

Most eliminations: Braun Strowman

Santino Marella Award: James Ellsworth

Biggest Disappointment: Seth Rollins because well, why shouldn’t he be in the Rumble?

That’s it from my side. Cheerio.

If you liked this article, read Why The WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) Has Lost Its Charm Over The Years

Image credits: WWE


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