So, recently, Bajrang Dal and Vishwa Hindu Parishad (RSS’s babies, how cute!) sprayed cow urine on Garba dancers to keep Muslims away. Wait, what? Ahem, what Hindu will even be okay with that – animal excreta on you? Fitoor ka suroor? I doubt it.
Nationalism is a child in saffron. RSS is its dream. Quite like every candy/chocolate-lover whose dream is to enter Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. And this is how we have found stark ways in which the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh resembles the most loved organization in the world of children’s literature! Don’t despise. We have a case here.
1. Both are fodder for fantasy.
Wonka’s Chocolate Factory was the perfect dream-come-true for children in literature – a massive workshop that specializes only in confectionaries. RSS serves the same purpose for extremist Hindus who see India just in one colour. It is the only thing that can save India from external terrorism Muslims. Therefore, if we have to spray cow piss on unconsenting people, we will! Such a perfect place to manufacture extremists!
2. Only distributors of their products
Wonka’s Chocolate Factory supplies Wonka’s Chocolate Bar to the entire world – welcome to the world of patents and capitalism! RSS thinks (or imposes us to think, much difference!) that what it decides in the name of Hinduism is the final verdict. It is THE organization that is qualified enough to disseminate Hindu values and culture – chaar-chaar bache, vegetarianism, and of course, Vamana Jayanti. *slow claps for this one*
Welcome to the world of Hindutva!
(Om Shanti, please.)
3. Marvelous innovations.
The “inventing room” is where Wonka experiments and comes out with his marvelous, innovative products, like the Three-Course Dinner Chewing Gum which will give you tomato soup, roast beef (uh-oh!) and blueberry pie all by itself, or Everlasting Gobstoppers that can never be finished.
RSS, too comes up with brilliant innovations. Not sure if tried or tested, though. The showstoppers are – cow urine cowsmetics, radioactive protection from cow dung, and quite recently, spraying cow urine to keep Muslims at bay. Bravo!
4. Television chocolate. Television propaganda.
Chocolate is distributed directly to the television sets of customers from Willy Wonka’s Chocolate factory through cable lines. That sounds familiar? Well, it would. Paid media houses do exactly the same – spreading false propaganda, spewing hatred against minorities – carefully bringing them from the headquarters of hate to our dining rooms.
Who is sponsoring my trip to Pakistan, then? Please message to provide me details.