Quora ED: What Is The Fastest Way To Make A Situation Awkward?

ED originals: QuoraED! This is when we pick up a trending or interesting thread from Quora and spin a story around it.

Awkward situations are something we all have to go through. No matter what you do you can’t ignore it. Also, you may have read many articles on “How To Handle Awkward Situations With Grace?”

But if I ask you what is the fastest method to get yourself in an awkward situation, then you may roll your eyes and tilt your head to say, “Are you crazy?”

The original question posted on Quora was What Is The Fastest Way To Make A Situation Awkward?

The question is as crazy as its answers. Let’s see some of them which were posted on Quora.

1. Just General Creepy Nature:

One user laid out quite a well thought list where they listed many creative and even funny (for you perhaps) ways, you just have to:

  • Talk about how you think your cousin is kinda hot, or how you’d definitely bang your sibling if they weren’t your family. Then proceed to discuss how incest is an outdated concept.
  • Talk about your masturbation habits.
  • Hug someone randomly right in the middle of conversations.
  • Poke people during conversations with a fat grin on your face. Repeatedly. Better yet, poke their nose.
  • Stroke somebody’s face.
  • For men in male company, talk about how comfortable you are with your heterosexuality, and then slowly creep into how it benefited in your bisexual experimentation.
  • Talk about what a total loser you are and how much your life sucks; aim to drain anyone who’s foolish enough to try and cheer you up by being a black hole of self-loathing.
  • Rest your hand on your crotch and rub/clasp frequently while making eye-contact.
  • Lick somebody.

2. Long… … … Pauses:

I’d say the fastest route to awkwardness is elongated pauses:
Mary: Where should we go for dinner?
Dan (after saying nothing and staring at her for five seconds): I don’t have a preference.
Mary: Um … well, do you feel like pizza?
(Pause.)
Dan: Sure.
Mary: Are you okay?
(Pause.)
Dan: Yes.

3. Throw Someone Off With Crazy Talks and Behaviour:

  • Make totally odd statements:

What should we have for dinner?

I don’t think that’s funny!

  • Stare just to the side of a person’s face. Switch sides often.
  • Stand slightly too close to people.
  • Burst out laughing for no apparent reason.
  • Start crying.
  • Ask people odd questions out of context. E.g in the middle of a work meeting ask “OK, who likes pizza?”
  • Talk about yourself in the third person. “Peter loves answering questions on Quora “
  • Talk about someone who is in the room as if they weren’t there.

3. Apparently, There Is No Shortage Of How You Can Make A Situation Awkward:

  • Start talking about how your uncle once murdered someone
  • Yell ‘I’ve lost my phone’ then reach for your pocket, pull it out and say ‘never mind’
  • Start eating just as the other person is finishing talking, slowly chew your food, respond, wait and repeat
  • Randomly suggest an extreme action, not related to the conversation eg. ‘we should really nuke Scotland.’
  • Put headphones on and start listening to music while someone is telling you something
  • If you’re married, get a text alert, look at your phone, and say ‘oh, that’s just my girlfriend/ boyfriend’
  • Talk about an unusual hobby of yours for an hour or so. Something like blacksmithing or spoon whittling. Doesn’t matter if anyone asked.
  • Start scratching your crotch. Downplay this one as much as possible, try to be discreet (it’s impossible).

 

All the above responses look excited as hell. But do maintain proper caution or you’ll end up sad, divorced or dead.


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