It’s the wedding season in India, traffic jam on roads because dressed up women have nowhere else to dance, DJ playing ‘DJ wale babu’ at 12 midnight and whole localities having to suffer the torture are just a few things we’ll have to live with until people grow up.
Unfortunately more than a celebration of union, marriage has become a show of money and idiocracy. Here are some so called rituals, marriages need to do away with ASAP.
- Being late
It has become sort of a universal law that the ‘baraat’ will always be late. While some, blame women for taking too much time to dress up, others blame the vehicles on the road. But aren’t the vehicles supposed to be on the road? Whatever be the reason but a late baraat signifies painful start to a wedding.
- Everything in Orange Gravy
Let’s get it out in the open today- people are not interested in marriage. People are there for food or to be specific ‘PANEER’. SO, paneer is served in bright orange gravy. Lesser popular Malai Kofta is also served in orange gravy (Malai is Orange!). So is dal and other dishes. Why do you do destroy food? WHY? HOW? IT is food people! You do not mess with food!
- The photo session
Once the marriage is half done, the photographer who suddenly transforms into Dabbo Ratnani, takes the hungry and begging for privacy couple to a secluded area but instead of blessing them with what they want, he makes them pose awkwardly. Nobody in their right minds ever gets themselves clicked in such clichéd manner. But hey it’s their wedding, they have no power!
- Getting clicked while eating
You’re unfortunate if the only picture you have of yours is while you are eating- your mouth is opened wide and there is half-chewed food inside or a spoon ready to go inside your mouth. It is at this point that God blesses you with a picture you will regret all your life. There should be a strict rule to not capture images while people eat peacefully; it’s the only thing that’s good about marriages.
It is also during these times we understand the true pains that celebrities suffer through with the paparazzi following their every move.
- The woman who cries too much
Women love to be captured on camera. There is always this one aunt of yours who suddenly bursts into tears when the bride is departing and does not stop. She is a distant relative and it hardly makes sense that she is crying so profusely. It is this aunt who delays the end of the already never-ending wedding by several minutes. Why do you do this to us, relatives?
Marriages are sacred occasion. Do not infect them with juvenile customs that make no sense. Enjoy wedding without fanfare and have fun without dancing to ridiculous songs!