SexED: Debunking Gray-Asexuality, It’s Not What You Think

Part 4 of the SexED Discovering Alternative Sexualities

Alright people, coming off the end of part 3 where we talked and learned about asexuality, we now venture into a part of asexuality that we talked about last time.

Gray asexuality.

grey asexual

Now, gray asexuality is the slightly lesser known sect within that of the more popular asexuality. Most often people usually call it being confused, or wanting to get the best of both worlds.

But I’d just like to emphasize on the fact that, one gray asexuality is actually an orientation, which many people do associate with. And second that no, one is not confused or trying to appear cool by making a fancy name, if they do identify as gray asexual.

It just means that in relation to certain events or people there is a possibility that they could elicit a sexual attraction or drive within someone from this spectrum. Something that is definitely not there if one is an asexual, who experience completely no sexual attraction or drive.

Now, being someone who’s had their eyes opened only recently to the many different kinds of sexual orientations, in order to give proper information on this gray asexuality, I scoured various blogs, websites and forums.

Having done that, one thing that I can infer is that, there is no such definition of it, wait… let me elaborate what I mean. I meant that, the whole point of this sexuality is the fact that one is not to be confined under one label.

The word ‘gray’ is quite important and self- explanatory if one wants to understand the base of gray asexuality. Like the colour gray, people who identify as such are neither too left, nor too right, they lie in between sexuality and asexuality.

So, apart from the basic definition, I also found that there are many questions or areas should I say, about which people are quite confused about. Let me try and clear up some of them, and hopefully make you all just a tab bit more knowledgeable about what gray asexuality is:

Gray Asexuals Come Within The Asexual Spectrum


It can be extremely difficult to understand or define gray asexuality, owing to the fact that it is covers such a broad area.

It is just that the probability of gray asexuals feeling any kind of sexual attraction or drive is extremely low, however it is still there,  thereby the use of the word ‘gray’.

But one should still remember that gray asexuals come within the asexual spectrum, who feel that calling themselves just asexual is not entirely correct.

In order to make it easier to understand this, one can think of the asexual spectrum as having various different levels, wherein there are the end points of asexual and sexual, and then the levels in between, mainly gray asexual and demisexual.

Gray asexuals lie a little closer to that of the asexual point than the sexual one.

And owing to the circumstances of a particular person, a gray asexuals definition can thus, change based on how they choose to define it.


Gray Asexuals Are Different From Demisexuals

Now, if you keep in the above visualization of the spectrum, one can understand how gray asexuality will differ from demisexuality.

Unlike demisexuals, there is no one focus point which will determine sexual attraction or drive.

Basically, for gray asexuals almost anything can trigger a sexual feeling, and it should also be taken into consideration that gray asexuals might experience sexual feelings but could choose to not act on it.

Demisexuality is another wide and as yet unexplored sexuality. So don’t worry those who want to learn about it, come back for the next part in this series, where we will be discussing this one in more detail.


Gray Asexual a Helpful Tag

I know, I know, that the whole point of this sexuality is not to label it or anything. And where I am not labeling it as anything, but for those confused people, who have certain asexual tendencies, but are not wholly asexual, the tag of gray asexual gives a sense of community.

Calling oneself as this orientation, a person does not feel all that alone, and instead experiences a sense of belonging.

Signing off, I would just say, do not stop here, this here, is barely scratching the tip of the iceberg.

There are so many other sexualities, and even in gray asexuality, there is still so much to discover.

So remove those hetero-normative glasses and look that this beautiful spectrum of colours that make up so many various kinds of sexualities. Educate oneself and others, and well, keep on the look out at this series if nothing else.

We have much more to uncover and discuss.

Other Parts in The Series:

Part 1:

SexED: 11 Unusual Types of Alternative Sexuality You Should Know About

Part 2:

Squish- That Platonic Crush You Always Experienced But Never Had A Name For

Part 3:

SexED: “Asexuality is Not A Joke”, And Other Things Asexuals Want You To Know



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