Oxford defines internships as: “The position of a student or trainee who works in an organization, sometimes without pay, in order to gain work experience or satisfy requirements for a qualification”
Our definition: “The time period when we are away from both college and home so that we could download as much as we want, roam around as much as we want, party as much as we want, eat as little as we want, and discover a new city. Plus, get a Certificate for it too.”
The following are the things we HONESTLY learn at our prestigious internships:
1. The Art Of CV Making
In order to secure an internship at a reputed office, we need to mail our CV (or Resume). We make such a lucrative CV which puts Indian Marriage Invitation Cards to shame. Half the things mentioned about us are not even true.
According to our CVs, we have organized every fest in our college and have participated in every college event, which is strange because I don’t recall attending any fest.
Also, we don’t know the difference between CV and Resume. (Jaan ke kya ukhaad lenge?)
2. Using Big Words Without Knowing The Meaning
You think I have ever read “Word Power Made Easy”. Almost all of us own one but don’t have the guts to go through the book which is thicker than our thickest pillow.
Our Quintessential aim is to use words like quintessential in a way to sound smarter than our quintessential selves.
Got a presentation? I should better learn some good words instead of focusing on the quality of the slides. Lol.
3. Minimum Expenditure, Maximum Reimbursement
Stipend-less internships are tough to tolerate. The only way to gain some is to crack those tough equations in order to come up with such an amount of reimbursement that the boss does not doubt our intention. This is more difficult than the work assigned in the office.
Let’s just accept that all of us have fooled our bosses and gained some money in the name of travel expenses.
4. Perfected at Downloading Torrents, Secretly
The only good thing about an office anywhere in the world is the WIFI connection. As soon as I walk into the office I am the king with an unlimited supply of GBs and speed faster than ever.
But, you have to be sneaky as F. Once you get caught, you’re not only gonna lose your reputation, but also the access. (Latter part is more hurtful)
5. Getting The Certificate Before Time
Certificate is the only thing that keeps us going throughout the internship period. We get it before hand, just to be alert and cautious. Our nightmares are filled with bosses refusing to give us a certificate at the last day of internship.
Still shakes my nerves.
6. Minimum Work & Maximum Output
What if boss gave you a complicated piece of work and it is as confusing as the game show BAMBOOZLE in Friends? What do you do next? Sit back and relax. Period.
Or if you’re being watched, then pretend to work. It works. Always. Because deadlines are meant to be followed strictly. So why waste all the other days when you can simply sort it out the last day?
So next time if you apply for an internship, keep these points in your mind. Also, if you have any other ethical or unethical internship hacks then comment below and contribute to world heritage.
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