“How Come Those Shorts Don’t Fall Off?” This Is What Watching Football With Your Parents Actually Feels Like

By Suryansh Upmanyu

Father, I have a confession to make. I am a football fanatic. And being a fanatic, I watch matches every weekend, whether I have a Monday test or not. The problem? There is only one TV at home. So between my parents and me, someone has to adjust (usually my parents).

So for the last 5 years, my parents have been watching matches with me. And in those 5 years, there have been plenty of hilarious moments which I would like to tell you about. Believe me, Father, when I say that it is as much fun to watch football with your parents as with your friends.

I would like to highlight some of such special moments.

1. “What has happened to fashion nowadays?”

Matches are seen by football fans around the world. So the ground can be a pretty good platform to show your new tattoo. It might impress some girls, but my mom is thoroughly not impressed. Comments like this follow –

  1. “Looks like that guy has a mop on his head, without the handle.”
  2. “How come those shorts don’t fall off? Don’t you ever dare to wear your shorts that low.”


2. The Indian Connect:

There is no Indian player in the English Premier League right now, but that doesn’t stop my parents from getting excited whenever they see a name which is relatively Indian.



3. Getting quite a different insight into things:

(We are watching Man United play on TV)

Mom: Who is that guy?

Me: Rooney.

Mom: Rooney? That can be a very cute dog name.

I couldn’t hear anything for the next 5 minutes. My own laughter drowned out other sounds as I imagined my mother calling our imaginary pet beagle, “Roooo-ney!! Sit!”

(No offense to you, sir. After that day, my mom and I have nothing but the utmost respect for you.)


4. How do you say that?

Foreign names can be a little hard to pronounce. No wonder my dad cannot pronounce these!




5. What was his name again?

Everyone has his own way of remembering stuff. When they cannot remember the player by his name, my parents remember them by their on-field antics.



Robert-Lewandowski-11 (1)

Chelsea's José Mourinho



6. And when the final whistle blows:

(After every match, without fail)

Dad: OK then, you go study now.

Me: But dad! Post match analy… (Sees the look on his face) OK, OK, I’m going.


When I said I came here to confess, I didn’t mean that I had done something wrong. Instead, I just wanted to let out all the emotions which I feel when I watch a match with my parents. Yes, it can be really exasperating to fight over the remote with them. Yes, it can be really irritating to hear them crib about how I waste my time or how they are missing that day’s news.

But this experience is really special too. Whenever a goal is scored, we scream together. Whenever an easy chance is missed, we abuse the player together. We chant, “Messi! Messi!” together. And whenever a keeper makes a good save, both of them look at me and say, “When will you make such a save?”

Frustrating and still entertaining. That is what makes watching football with the family really special.

Image Credits: Google

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