By Mehak Bahri
Why are we hell bent on comparing strong women of the society to the likeness of men? Why is it that whenever a woman behaves independently and confidently, she is weighed against the alpha male’s personality?
There have been several examples on why a successful or wise woman has been categorized as a man. Whenever there is an article on thriving female, her personality is compared to a man’s. Understandably, men and women have different personality traits, but men are not the only gender group that can take the tag of being the strong and independent ones. We need to understand that some women are self sufficient, they are confident and they are the epitome of balance. It is not because they are trying to measure up against some man, but simply because they choose to live that way.
“You’re a woman who drives like a man”. “Oh, thank you”
This is just an example of what I’m trying to say. A woman is not meant to be the weaker one in the society, she is not dependent on a male life form for her existence and neither does she need the validation of being a strong woman who is just like a man. Are we so blinded by the judgment of the society that we have started believing females need to be measured up against males to be regarded as someone powerful? Isn’t being a fierce woman enough a compliment that we need to add “just like a man” after that?
1. Do it like a Brother, Do It like a Dude
NO. This Jessie J song was undoubtedly a hit and it was one of my favorites for a pretty long time. But seriously, this song describes exactly what I’m trying to say here. All this song is about is the innuendos of how a woman is a badas*, terribly cool person only because she can ‘do it like a brother, do it like a dude’.
I’m pretty sure that if you have a chilled out girl gang to hang out with, then you won’t need to compare them your best ‘guy type’ friends. Also, it does not take literal ‘balls’ to do some next level crazy sh*t. Being the wild ladies of today, we can bring the house down by just being ourselves!
2. My life, My Priorities
I really need to know who set the rules that women have to be more aligned to their families and men have to be more career oriented. If there is a dedicated career woman, she likes her work and finds zest in accomplishing her professional goals, it is her choice. The corporate world is not only a man’s place, but also a woman’s.
Being a woman, I don’t need to be told how to sort out my life’s priorities. If I have decided to give more years of my life to my career, I don’t need to be compared to being a man in my life’s decisions. Our society has emphasized too much on gender roles, and once they get reversed, it becomes a perverse setup.
It’s simple to understand. I’m a woman, I choose my career; don’t judge me for being a man for it. And if you like this decision of mine, don’t tell me I’m as smart and as focused as a man. I’m a woman, doing what I love.
3. “Man” in the relationship?
Times have changed. This is such an overused phrase that it is starting to sound like a cliche. But, if there is still some explaining to do about this phrase then there is no choice but to make use of it again, once more.
There are some women today that are more forward in their views on relationships. They hold equal reigns of the commitment. They express their discontent on some things and in turn, voice their opinions as well.
A relationship is about two equal people, isn’t it? So why is it that when a woman has an equal say, she is made out to be the “man” in the relationship. This is a pretty derogatory statement to both, the man and the woman.
Both people are capable of handling their relationship. The man does not have to be looked at in a petty manner. The woman does not have to be categorized as a man for being an equal in the relationship. Even if a woman is assertive, why is she the “man”. Maybe she’s just a selfish woman, but why necessarily the “man”? Women are not the only ones being insulted in this general context, but men as well.
4. “Parties like a bro” “Drinks like a man” “We’re not like sisters, we’re like bros”
Girls don’t need the validation of being “like a guy”. If she drives well, doesn’t mean she drives like a man. If she parties crazy, she is just a party girl. If you have best friend who’s a girl, you don’t need to say that you have a “guy” kind of bond.
All these characteristics are independently of males and females. In fact, their independent to you!
It’s such a commendable thing if a woman hustles well enough to pay your bills, support yourself and defend yourself. It does not make you “tough guy”, it makes you a “tough woman”.
This is not a pseudo feminist blog. Don’t mistake it for one. This is about realizing how woman are independent, awesome, and intense in their own way and not because they have achieved a benchmark to be compared to men.
So the next time you want to compliment a woman for having her career on tops, don’t tell her she’s a corporate honcho. She’s an intelligent, non compromising woman. Be proud of it !
For this ain’t no man’s world.