The Potty Problem You Can’t Ignore

Have you ever wondered why the constipated people are so rude? Let me help you, I guess because they do not give a crap? Or hey, have you heard about the new movie in the theatres called ‘The Constipation’? I am sure you have not, because the movie has not come out yet! Okay-okay, promise, the last one.  An old man went to see his doctor about his constipation problem. “It’s horrible” he said, “I haven’t moved my bowels in a week”. “I see, have you done anything about it?” asked the doctor. “Yes, doctor”, he replied, “I sit in the bathroom for 20 minutes in the morning and again at night.” “No”, the doctor said, “I mean do you take anything?” “Naturally, doctor”, he answered, “I take a book.”

Cons 1

What do we infer from above? Yes, there are many people suffering from constipation, so many, that we have started joking about them already!

The recent statistical data show that at least 14 per cent of India’s urban population suffers from the condition of chronic constipation and a fifth of the patients are within the age group of 45 to 65. The data show that incidence in India is higher than worldwide average of 10 per cent and the major cause is unhealthy food choices and life style changes.

Cons 2

But who gives a crap? Exactly.  Most of us do not, hence we’re unarguably constipated.


Remember how we solved the #MissingType problem using Mathematics? Now, let us try a hand at Physics. (Indian hun, padhai kabhi peechha nahi chhodta #IndianEducationSystemSwag)

Problem – No bowel movement a.k.a constipation

Physics will help us answer five parts of this problem – What is constipation, what causes it, how do we know we are constipated, what is to be done when we are constipated and lastly, what is NOT to be done when we are constipated. Since physics is a science subject no extra marks for extra information!


What is constipation?

Let’s recall our first law of ‘motion’.  Potty stays in the state of inertia unless acted upon by an unbalanced force of human beings.


What causes constipation?

The potty stays at the state of rest because of the following points:

  1. Inadequate water intake
  2. Inadequate fiber in the diet
  3. A disruption of regular diet or routine; traveling
  4. Inadequate activity or exercise or immobility
  5. Eating large amounts of dairy products
  6. Stress
  7. Resisting the urge to have a bowel movement, which is sometimes the result of pain from hemorrhoids
  8. Overuse of laxatives which, over time, weakens the bowel muscles
  9. Hypothyroidism
  10. Neurological conditions such as Parkinson’s disease or multiple sclerosis
  11. Antacid medicines containing calcium or aluminum
  12. Depression
  13. Eating disorders


(My-my way too many causes, no wonder physics papers are always lengthy)


How do we know we are constipated?

We know potty is in the state of rest when we observe the following points:

  1. Infrequent bowel movements or difficulty having bowel movements (straining)
  2. Hard or small stools
  3. Sense of incomplete bowel movement
  4. Swollen abdomen or abdominal pain
  5. Pain
  6. Vomiting



What is to be done when we are constipated?

We should try doing the following (the DO’s):

  1. Drink plenty of fluids
  2. Eat fresh and dried fruit
  3. Load your plate with vegetables
  4. Fill up on whole grains for fiber

Ah, at last, the part of this lengthy answer.

What is NOT to be done when we are constipated?

The following should be avoided when one is constipated (the DON’Ts):

  1. Rely on processed foods
  2.  Drink coffee or caffeinated drinks all day
  3. Go overboard on dairy
  4. Drink too much alcohol


Done. My answer to the problem of constipation is complete. Now do your bit and pay heed to this and save yourself from the troubles of both constipation and physics!



Cons 3

Hoping you didn’t read this article in the bathroom trying very hard to feel relaxed!

Stay well! Save yourself from constipation.. Kyunki motion se hi toh emotion hai! :)

Also, watch this video for some toilet humor. Hahaha.




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