The Very Repellent Social Network!

social networking
ˌsəʊʃəlˈnɛtwɜːkɪŋ/
noun

The use of dedicated websites and applications to interact with other users, or to find people with similar interests to one’s own.

But. There is just SO much more to social networking than just this very simple definition that Google tells me. For instance, the never ending queue of fads, or as they call it- ‘trends’. Quite often, these fads leave you so twisted that the social network is slowly turning me Un-social :|. So, here are a few of the ‘trends’ that the social network has to offer (quite a bounty, these are):-

1. The Duckface:

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Pouts, or ‘duckface’, as the internet calls it, is apparently ‘in’. What I fail to understand is that how something so overtly protruding could be considered sexy. Might as well just develop webbed feet and get it over with.

2. Nudie Pics:
Folks posting (sometimes) half naked pictures of themselves to fetch ‘likes’. And worse: boasting about it. Okay, before all the feminists out there go right after my ass, let me clarify:- No, I’m not just talking about the ladies here.

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HAH. You were expecting a half naked picture, weren’t cha? xD

3. Instagrammed Food:

xl_2874_food-photography-tpInstagramming food pictures. Okay, you go out to eat at this really amazing place, you order this really amazing dish and when the waiter finally gets it for you, what do you do? You click a picture and you Instagram it. Why, I ask? Filtering your food pictures is not going to make your food taste any better, nor is it going to land you a discount. So, stop it already. On second thoughts, why hasn’t anyone come up with Instarajma yet? No? Okay.

4. Tweeting your LIFE:

dumbest-twitter-first-daughter-girlTweeting EVERY goddamned detail of every passing second of your life. Why do you feel the dire need to let the world know about what you’re having for breakfast, brunch, lunch, evening snacks, dinner, midnight snacks, or what you’re doing when you just wake up, when you come out of your shower or whether or not you’re even taking a shower and what not! Darling, nobody cares about the size of your faeces.
(I wouldn’t complain so much about this, though. Sometimes just get a good laugh out of it. So.:P)

5. #Hashtagging#everything:

Hashtag-meme
#Because#Tyiping#Normally#Without#Hashtags#Is#Too#Mainstream#Seriously#Zuckerberg#Had#To#Introduce#A#Hashtag#Feature#Specially#Because#Of#You#Folks!

6. tYp!Ng LyK D!$.
[email protected]$3 [email protected]# lyF [email protected]# RulzZz.
$3r!ou$\y [email protected], t#!$ !$n’t k3wl. [email protected]#p. #ow d0 yUh 3v3n #@v3 [email protected] [email protected]!enc3 2 [email protected] d!$ l0ng 2 typ. !t t00k m3 @n 3t3rnity 2 typ d!$ muc#. $3r!0u$ly, [email protected]# [email protected] ju$t d!3d. @nd it [email protected] lyk h3r n!nt# lyf. -_-

7. Self made Promoters:
Inboxing everyone in their friend list to ‘like’ their picture.
I’m assuming 700 likes is going to fetch you a Nobel Prize. Good luck!

8. Random Fights:

Untitled5People fighting with people that they don’t know for people who don’t know them. Seriously, folks, if you’re ever in the need for a good long laugh, just go watch any random video of any random celebrity on YouTube. Don’t even watch it. Just go to the window, pause the video and scroll down and read the comments. Thank me later.

9. (Too Much) PDA:

slqz4pPeeps, for God’s sakes, PLEASE stop showing love to your beloveds on social networking sites. Seriously, nobody wants to watch you and your ‘boo’ exchanging saliva. There’s a thing called as private chat, too. Just sayin.

10. Wrong use of the memes:

frabz-What-if-i-told-you-you-used-the-wrong-meme-e870b8Okay, this might not come across as a very logical point, but personally, it really puts me off when someone uses a meme in the wrong manner! (Judge me all you want. I have meme OCD -.-)

These fads that have so taken over, or ‘trends’, are absolutely incomprehensible to me. And what’s even more incomprehensible is the insatiable hunger for ‘likes’. This concept has always gone right beyond any of my capabilities of comprehension. HOW is the number of likes that one has on one’s profile picture or the number of followers one has on one’s Twitter account so significant? It’s not like you’re getting any money out of it.

Oh, and here’s a pic to explain what your favourite social networking site is actually about
social-media-explained

P.S. – Please like, share and comment on my post. Kthanks. (Don’t judge me. I AM being paid for this xD) Tehe.

 

 

By Dhwani Mohan

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