The year 2014 saw fashion trends of various kinds take predominance over the good senses of the mankind. Yes, I totally meant that sarcastically.
Harry Winston, late American jewelry designer once said “People will stare. Make it worth their while”. I would say some of us Indians leave no stone unturned to keep true to this great guy’s words. We dress so exotically and flamboyantly that we make heads turn not only for our bad fashion trends but also the exuberance and confidence we carry them with. This article is inspired by exactly this category of people.
Read on to learn about the few fashion trends that need to go and that we so badly wish to die and rest in peace this year.
Whenever I see any member of this latest-to-resurface-in-trend-but-please-go-away-already species, the first thought that strikes my head is ‘do they glow in dark too?’. They stand out in the crowd. No, not because they are like the most beautiful looking people around but for their sheer can-be-seen-from-miles-away-ness because of the exuberant brightness emanating from these souls(naah, I didnt mean the light of enlightenment). The favourite ones in hype are neon yellow, pink and orange.
Thanks to my great luck I recently stumbled upon one fine lady who not only wore pants and a shirt of the same neon green but also flaunted a bag and donned shoes of precisely the same shade. I am not exaggerating when I say I literally had to cover my eyes to escape from the rays of this Sun on earth. Thanks to these neon ensembles and accessories, the sale of shades is on rise.
This trend really belongs in the late 80s/early 90s and needs to stay exactly there. Remember Madhuri Dixit’s rainbow dress in the song Ek Do Teen? Honestly, it looked funny even then.
2. Animal Print:
How about a short history for this one before the bashing?
Rumour has it that when Europeans began colonising Asia and Africa in the 18th century, they bought home the skins of leopards, tigers and zebras. These exotic prints were soon reproduced on fabric(for the uber rich, of course) leaving their mark on clothing and decor. Two centuries later, Marilyn Monroe and Lauren Bacall, the evergreen sex symbols made animal prints popular again.
(animal print in fashion in the 1950s-60s)
A trend ceases to be when it gets repulsive to the eyes. Truer words were never said. In the 7-8 hours that I daily spend outside my home, I get my senses assaulted by prints of every felon on earth. From tops, shirts, pants, dresses, jackets, skirts, lingerie, scarves, bags, bedcovers to chappals, belts, hairbands, you name it and I’ve seen it all. Not a day goes without spotting a cheetah, leopard, snake, tiger or a cat hustling like the rest of the humans on the roads or in the metro.
The latest in fad and rare as of now(but I highly doubt it would stay so for long) are animal skin nail painting and eye makeup. I mean they might be good for theme parties and such, but can you imagine walking around the local market, or travelling in the metro with this makeup. Now if that don’t scare you, something’s definitely wrong with you fellow humans.
Its inescapable for its all around. So brace yourself guys for I definitely not see it exiting anytime soon.
Word of advice: animal prints don’t necessarily look bad if used minimalistically.
3. Leggings as Pants:
Okay let me get this out and clear: leggings are no substitutes for a good pair of jeans. Leggings are meant to be worn to the gym or for a run, just like you don’t wear your pajamas to college/work, what makes you think leggings qualify it?
Particularly liquid leggings or pleather(synthetic leather made out of plastic) leggings. They are extremely tight and every inch as uncomfortable as they look.
Not playing a moral police here, but if you really love those pair of leggings of yours please care to teem them up with a good tunic top, honestly nobody’s interested in checking out the outlines of your ass. In fact don a good pair of boots along for a classy look.
Jeggings, the cross between jeans and leggings are definitely a much better choice.
4. Pencil Jeans(for men):
Okay lets do an exercise. Close your eyes and imagine a guy standing straight. Now beside him imagine a human size pencil. Next, cut the pencil from the waist into 2 equal halves. Now chop off the guy’s legs and replace them with the two halves of the pencil. Looks funny, right? Exactly my point.
Yes, that’s exactly how you Delhi dudes look in those ridiculously tight skinny jeans- crotch protruding out, lanky legs suffocating for air, no matter how heavy in comparison your upper half is.
The smartest ones top it up with a bright yellow or green plunging shirt, top 3-4 buttons rendered useless in an attempt to flaunt their polished hairless cleavage or teem it up with a collared up ‘playboy’ tee a la Salman Khan style, not to forget the red/blue/silver/rainbow-colored shades. This species is generally found lurking in groups and are loud, walk with an amusing attitude and are known to be fond of whistling to Honey Singh’s tracks.
Honestly, I don’t judge people by their caste, creed, gender, race but if you are wearing crocs, I am sorry. The moment I see a person wearing Crocs, I know for sure we have nothing in common. Crocs look funny, come in every color in the rainbow, yet manage to look bad with any and every piece of clothing ever created.
No matter how much you go on about how comfortable they are, the fact remains that they make your feet look like a native of Hobbit-land. Also, FYI Crocs was fined a great deal for falsely claiming their ‘shoes’ were made of some “antimicrobial” material and was hence stink-resistant. Don’t you think wearing Crocs rather make you resistant to making friends and getting laid?
My sincere request to you, readers, is that if you happen to have any of the above, please be kind enough to snuff them away in the pits of hell for the benefit of the larger humanity.
By- Aakanksha Kumari