What Boys Should Not Do

By Kokil Sachdeva

 

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The census report, 2011 brings forward a skewed sex ratio of the country: 933 females per 1000 males. This means 933 couples in India and 67 boys without a girl; bachelors for life! Of course, this is a very illogical interpretation and a stupid one too. But what I intend to convey is: ‘Boys, you better find a girl soon.’ (And this goes only for the singles. Cheaters are the biggest losers)

Your argument; It’s tough to impress girls. They are way too stylish. Dude, you’re wrong. It’s not hard to impress girls. It’s rather easy. The sad part however is; it’s easier to turn them off. So if you constantly wonder, why you’re single despite all your efforts, it’s probably because you turn them off by doing one of these. Or even worse; All of these!

1. Conversing in your self-compiled English: Ok, boys with fluent English do have an edge over others who don’t. But talking in English when you don’t know how to, completely throws you off the list. We are not Britishers, boys; you can talk to us in Hindi. But we are not aliens too; we cannot understand whatever you speak. (I likes you! Really?)

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2. Wearing T-shirts with cheesy one-liners: The way a guy dresses matters most to a girl; much more than looks and language. And then you turn up wearing a bright yellow t-shirt with “You look like my next girlfriend” printed in bold over it. *face palm*

Surprisingly, such guys even expect to have a chance. (Amazing confidence, BRO)

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3. Flaunting your possessions: You own a 5s. Great! It’s an amazing phone. But I guess something’s wrong with it. Right? Or you wouldn’t be taking it out every 5 minutes without any reason.

This trick could work for a girl who eyes your money. But if you’re really looking for a good, sophisticated girl, don’t talk or act pretentiously. It’s bound to not work in your favour. Ever!

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4. Stalking: Girls hate stalkers and every boy needs to know this. Lurking around her place or the mall she shops from, won’t attract her. It would annoy her instead. And who knows you may even land up in jail; provided you’re stalking an intelligent girl.

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5. Lack of confidence: This ruins every special occasion of life, and approaching a girl is no exception. After a lot of motivation by your friends and hundreds of practise sessions in front of mirror, you cannot let your nerves spoil it. If you’re not confident, she gets uncomfortable too, and your love story ends before it actually kicks off.

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And this is it. The top 5 never to be committed crimes (yes, these are crimes in an all girls dictionary) while you’re trying to woo a girl.

Dear singles, all you need is to avoid these: And congratulations, you’ll soon be among the 933 hooked up guys of India!

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