$un Raha Hai na Tu (rupee)

By Divya Sharma

1013680_561694687202239_1767280942_n‘’Rumors are rife that Disneyland is opening a new ride which lets you free from a great height within a few seconds.The’re calling it ‘The INDIAN Rupee’! What do you think rupee feels when she’s kicked and joked about? Presenting her story, in her own words…’’

I have to admit, I’m quite enjoying the attention.It’s great to be in news; so what if its for all the wrong reasons? From the time I came into existence people have scampered for my attention. But alas! No matter how much I’m in demand even now, suddenly everyone is eyeing me with suspicion. They are blaming me for every wrong in the economy. What did I do to become the centre of the storm? Well, not much. Precisely! Had I made my weight felt a little and twisted my way around, I wouldn’t be in this mess.

Whenever you feel low, remember that somewhere in this world there is an Indian rupee that hits an ‘’all time low’’ on a regular basis.

Fall…scratch…bump! And it hurts bad…really bad. Now that my value has hit the lowest in a month at 68.75 against the US dollar, I seem to be the butt of jokes everywhere. The current generation would find it impossible to believe that I was at par with the dollar in 1947! From a more or less respectable position at around 50 per dollar not too long ago (June 2012), I have fallen all the way to nearly 70, many would love to see me retire.

BREAKING NEWS : CBSE has announced that the concept of free fall in physics will be taught using the Indian Rupee as an example.

I am the life blood of the country’s economy. But my value depends upon factors like trade, inflation, employement, growth rate of the economy etc. My southward diminution is not without reason, there are other factors at work too like decrease in supply of dollars due to withdrawal of foreign investments, high inflation, a volatile equity market and the increasing current account deficit. But what can I do if the head honchos of the country are going so slow with my recovery plan? I need to be at the operation table right now and they are waiting for the doctor to write the prescription. What an irony!

The only time the INDIAN rupee goes up these days is…during a toss!

In a move to stem my continuing fall RBI has announced a slew of measures like hiking lending rates for banks, restricting the amount of dollars Indians can spend overseas, curbing imports of oil and non-essential commodities, attractive returns on NRI deposits in Indian banks etc. But determining the quantum and timing of intervention is not easy as the mess my depreciation has caused is the way too big to clear over night.

Agle janam mohe rupaiya na kijo!

Seriously, I am very sad to be born as rupee! However, I refuse to give up that easily. Now that I’m around, it only makes sense to hang on a bit more and get things going the way they should. How about we de-materialise investments in gold, push IT services and exports beyond European union and the USA and indulge in the economic pricing of fertilizers and petro-products? Only, we got to do it fast! There is no magic wand today, there was no magic wand in 1991 either. I recovered then because the country needed a shock to come to its senses…I think it is time for a radical reboot once again!

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